STOP! - 21.04.2009 0:40
Walking home from school I looked into a window, totally mentally absent. And suddenly I realized how much I changed, how much my world changed. A year ago, I still lived in a totally different world.
Is this girl with the dark short hair, really me? Where are my reddish blonde curls?
Since when am I in love again? How did it happen? Didn't I say I never would again?
Since when do I dare to say what I think or dream? Wasn't I the one always holding back and being silent?
Since when do they think I am pretty? What is it what they fall for? Cause I definately can't see it.
Since when do I accept death???
STOP!
It doesn't make sense. Too many things happened that made me to the person I am now. Do I regret? That is the question that I should ask.
Shouldn't I?
At home, I went sitting on the bed and looked in the mirror. Then I fell back and lied down. While messing up my own hair I thought of my dad. In time like these I miss his simple answers to my big questions.
"What am I?"
"You are my daughter and an artist in the making."
Meh, and right he is...
Why do I still feel so vulnerable?
I thought I got stronger.
I changed a lot, but not much. I am still this nutty kid, wanting a hug.
Suta
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